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I didn’t get as many responses about woman as I did about men, but I did learn a few things. To see if people knew of any sign of gayness with which I was unfamiliar, I started checking with folks about the subject. It might be some behavior or a noticeable physical characteristic. I mean some gene that can alert even the straightest of persons. Still, if it’s true that homosexuality is genetic, is there some built-in DNA marker that will tip off any observant person? I don’t mean “gaydar”, the sixth sense radar that gay men and women use to meet new “friends” in straight bars. My cowboy boots come with a built-in redneck swagger that my loafers are lacking. As for the methods proposed by my friends, I don’t use straws, and the way I walk is more closely related to the shoes I’m wearing than my sexual orientation. I just left that one alone.Īre there certain cues that can tip you off as to whether a person is gay or not? Do all lesbians own at least one flannel shirt? Do all gay men have a heightened fashion sense? One look at my wardrobe will tell you that the answer is no. Gay men also have a unique way of sucking on a straw, she said. So is the way a man walks gay men, my friend proposed, have a certain walk, “and I don’t mean the stereotypical swishy walk.” I’m not sure what she did mean, though. What I learned was that big toes seem to be a giveaway. This led to a disagreement about the sexual orientation of a man sitting at the bar, which led to a conversation about how you could tell if a man was gay. I was sitting with friends in a Dallas restaurant, engaged in one of our favorite activities: making up stories about the other patrons. “I’ve noticed that all the gay men I’ve known have had large big toes.”